Every (almost) morning I get myself out of bed to head for the pool. The weather has turned rainy, windy and dark, typical for November in the Pacific Northwest. But I still find this inner drive to swim no matter what. It's gotten to the point where my day feels incomplete if I miss it.
My past fear(s) are not completely over. This is a process. Up to now, I've been using swimming pools where the environment is predictable and controlled. My childhood near drowning occurred at a local pond. I have not been in open water as of yet. I'm confident with the mechanics of swimming now, but have yet to challenge myself in the ocean or a lake or a pond.
There's something about not knowing what's at the bottom or underneath the surface. Changing currents, critters, algae, sticks, corral, rocks, etc. My instructor told me that having my face in the water looking down will help navigate. Fortunately, for some reason I never had an issue doing this. It was the lying on my back that freaked me out as it felt more vulnerable. In reality, it is actually a life saving technique taught in all the basic swim lessons particularly for babies - roll over on back and float until help arrives.
Back to the open water. One of the tricks I did as I was learning earlier in the year was visualizing every night before I'd fall asleep floating and gliding in the water peacefully with no strain or stress. This helped in the long run because it gave me "water confidence" instead of fighting it. Now, I'm visualizing myself swimming in open water with the sun on my face and moving with the changing currents and adjusting my strokes. Hopefully, I'll be able to go snorkeling at some point. That would be my ultimate goal.
